My journey through suffering

To the outside world we had God and lived cheerfully,

But what we learnt was fear, criticism and not liberty. 

 

I had the opportunity to study and learn an instrument, 

But all I wanted was a compliment. 

 

I was abused, manipulated and wanted to have my own free will,

I thought going somewhere far away to England to find myself would be a thrill. 

 

God had a plan. He spoke to me, "No one will pluck you out of my loving hand.

By my loving kindness, you shall surely see, though I am the Lord, I rejoice, in mercy.

 

By that which was shown to me, I came to understand: 

God is the one who still seeks and saves the lost, the lowly, with His nail pierced hand.

 

The emphasis of my learning on sin, judgment, miracles and superiority was replaced,

Mercy, grace, patience, acceptance and forbearance I learnt to trace. 

 

I worked as a cleaner, a babysitter and a waitress to pay for my university fees. 

I felt alone, misunderstood, haunted by the past, praying on my knees,

But strangers’ prophetic words and church members listening ears made me at ease. 

 

I was on crutches for two years with chronic pain,

But still travelled the world by many plans and trains even though it may sound insane.

The year was full of adventure and God speaking through me was not in vain.

 

I taught English online, stayed in five-star hotels for free,

Saw God in waterfalls, mountains and my favourite place, the sea.

 

Returned to England and had enough of living with pain and not being able to walk,

I fasted for a weekend, went to a healing service and put my complete faith in the Lord,

Since then, I have not used crutches I profess it bold.

 

I married my true love back in 2014 on a beach in Mexico, 

We wished to have a family but it wasn’t quite the right time to buy a baby grow. 

 

Fertility issues, surgery, miscarriages and many years of despair,

A weekend of fasting, a picture of Jesus with a baby and a word for us to prepare,

then finding out we were pregnant a couple of weeks later was the best news to share. 

 

Our baby boy was born during Covid, 

Traumatic birth, tongue tie, severe reflux but no support from nurses or doctors I noted,

But thankful and blessed I stand here to my son devoted. 

 

Mourning a family member, an ectopic pregnancy shortly followed, 

Panick attacks, anxiety, insomnia, anger, to feel my brain explode,

Was God still there, my thoughts like a slow stream flowed.

 

To feel His peace and calmness once again was a new lesson to learn,

To process my thoughts, my feelings and for help to others I turned. 

God was still in the whisper, in the stillness and with time I felt reaffirmed.  

 

Today, I have a beautiful family, a great house, career progression, wonderful friends and money to spare, 

God blessed me so that I can bless others and because I have been through so much I really care.  

 

We all have a different journey but through suffering and pain, 

We can make sure that peace and joy remain. 

Carrying each other’s burdens and perseverance under trial we maintain. 

 

Our journey carries on no matter the hardships, 

We have strength because of Jesus and His Script

To look beyond ourselves and to know how to love others we are equipped. 

 

There is a time to cry, a time to mourn, a time to be silent, a time to speak 

Time to heal, time to laugh, time to dance and a time to embrace.