Jesus walked alongside me
by Sassi Stuckey-Beeri
The doctor came and handed me a funeral form to sign.
Thoughts of anger and confusion, husband and wife together yet feelings are not alike.
Shocked I realised what happened, bewildered and jumbled where do I write my line.
Wondered if I should I grieve or not when the loss was so early on and did not know what grief was like.
Went to see a kind friend who expressed that I had the permission for all my surging emotions.
I wanted to return to normal but I needed time to rest and to engage with my devotions.
Lord, why me again and again, I asked.
Already too much suffering in my past.
We are all unique and created for a reason I am told.
Life is unfair and hard so I tell you bold.
I shouldn’t give up but my frustration continued to grow.
Although I am not perfect, I strive to follow you the best I can.
Some say it must be my fault and long your judgement will span.
Look back to how much you have learnt from the suffering you have endured.
I feel your pain and my tears are like a flood falling for you, He assured.
I made you fearfully and wonderfully, you are beautiful, suffering is not your flaw.
Humanity has free will and have chosen to turn away from me, it is not a question of law.
Bring your feelings to me and lay them down on my pasture.
I don’t want harm to touch you but to give you hope and a future.
Look at the birds in the sky, they neither sow nor reap yet I feed them and you are so much more valuable to me.
Outwardly you may suffer, inwardly you are renewed every day by my everlasting peace that stretches over the sea.
Danger or disease. Suffering or persecution.
Anxiety or depression. Abuse or loss.
Poverty or injustice. Loneliness or brokenness.
I walk alongside you; I am always there.